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Domestic
Violence
 Are
you with an abusive person?
Traits to look for in an abuser:
- Controlling Behavior:
An abuser will say he / she is concerned about your safety. The person
may become angry if spouse is late and may question closely about
where their partner went, who they talked to, etc. As this progresses,
the abuser may not allow their spouse to make personal decisions,
will tell her / him what to wear or may refuse to allow spouse to
have any access to money and they may demand permission for spouse
to leave their house.
- Jealousy: In the
beginning of the relationship the abuser may say that jealousy is
a sign of love. Jealousy is a sign of insecurity and has nothing to
do with love. The abuser may accuse partner of flirting, question
as to whom they have been talking to, be jealous of time spent with
family, or friends. He / she may refuse to let him / her work, check
the car mileage or call frequently and drop by unexpectedly to check
on him / her.
- Quick Involvement: Many
times abusers will come on like a whirlwind --- "Love at first
sight". He / She will be very flattering saying he has "never
loved like this before", or "You are the only person for
me, the only person I could ever talk to". The abuser needs someone,
anyone desperately, and will go to great lengths to pressure the woman
to commit to the relationship.
- Isolation: The
abuser will try to cut the person off from all of their resources.
When they spend time with friends, she is a "homosexual"
or when with friends of the opposite sex they are a "slut",
"whore" or "pimp". The abuser may not allow them
to use the car or refuse to allow them to go to work or school.
- Unrealistic Expectations:
Many abusers expect their spouses to be the perfect parent,
lover, and spouse. They will say things like "I'm all you need
if you really love me".
- Blames other for his feelings
or problems: The abuser may say "You make me mad",
"If you wouldn't make me so angry I wouldn't have to hit you".
The abuser will tell the abused it is their fault if they lose their
job, gets a DUI, abuses the children, etc.
- Playful Use of Force During
Sex: An abuser may show little concern about whether the
abused wants to have sex. They may pout or become angry to manipulate
them into compliance. The abuser may have sex with the abused when
they are ill, sleeping or tired. He / She may throw them down and
hold them down during sex.
Continued...
If you are being abused, call your local domestic
violence shelter or Police / Sheriff's Department.
Please contact us for more information or for an appointment by calling
us at 281-357-4111 or e-mailing us at info@cccctomball.com.
Office Hours
Monday through Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and Saturday appointments
available from 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. |
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