Step-Parents/Blended Families

How can we come together as a family?

It is very difficult for a new person to move into a home already established by a family unit. If possible, a step-family should start out in their own home or apartment.

The biological parent already has a relationship with the children. A primary couple relationship is essential for a strong marriage. However, many biological parents feel they are "putting their children on a back burner" after the couple unites. A strong adult bond can protect the minor children from another loss. Children need a positive model of both sexes. Time spent with the children is important, however, the couple must make time together to strengthen their relationship.

When the children are young it is especially important for the step-parent to spend time with the children so that relationship may become closer. Examples: work on a project together, go shopping, etc. It is just as important for the biological parent to spend time with the children to avoid more feelings of loss.

Always remember, it takes time for a caring relationship to evolve. Acceptance that one now has a "different type" of family is very important. Some insecurities are expected and can be dealt with when these surface. If the situation becomes dysfunctional/problematic, a professional family therapist should be sought to assist the family.

It is important for the step-parent to realize and accept that the children will usually have a very strong tie to both biological parents. Rejection of a step-parent may have less to do with step-parent and more to do with feelings of being disloyal to their biological parent. Critical remarks about a biological parent will almost always result in the children being caught in loyalty conflicts.

If two people truly love their children the best gift they can give them are parents that can communicate without strife. When this occurs children will not feel "caught in the middle" and feel they have to take sides. This makes them better able to function in their home in a healthy, well adjusted manner.

In a step-family, values are certainly going to be different. Values do not change easily. Families must be flexible and relaxed in order to negotiate through difficult issues.

Please contact us for more information or for an appointment by calling us at 281-357-4111 or e-mailing us at info@cccctomball.com.

Office Hours

Monday through Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and Saturday appointments available from 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.